What is Love?

Not being in a relationship on Valentine’s Day for some singles is a measure of their value or worth as a human being, which is utter nonsense.

A Lonely Day For Singles

Next to Christmas, it can be, for some, one of the loneliest times of the year. But should it?

Is this a fact, or is it an ideology that we have bought into that has shaped our thinking and behaviour? I guess some people who are more confident can ride the day unscathed.

For others, it may be a reminder of a relationship they once had, and if you’re single and working from home, then you may well have been spared the ordeal of observing the flowers on the desks of your colleagues.

True Love Manifests Daily

The fact is Valentine’s Day starts and ends on the 14th, so it is not an accurate measure of what true love is. True love manifests itself not just with flowers and a fleeting date night, but in the day-to-day relationship. For married couples, that would be house chores, daily runs and how well they respect and relate with each other.

For dating couples, it’s similar and we could learn a lot about love in these circumstances than in one day.

You May Have Dodged A Bullet

I would like to even flip it and say that some singles, who have spent Valentine’s Day alone, have probably dodged a bullet, as it is better to spend the day eating your favourite food and watching a good movie alone than to be hooked up with someone with the wrong motive and the day ends leaving you felling devalued.

Some of your colleagues with flowers on their desks, maybe in relationships that you would never consider trading for your freedom.

Not to say that there’s no one in lovely healthy relationships, but what I’m getting at is maintaining the right perspective of where you are in your status.

Resist The Urge To Doom Scroll

If you’re single, it’s probably a good day to fast social media, as you can easily get caught up in spending an hour or more doom scrolling to see what others are doing or reading the woes of other singles who haven’t chosen the right perspective for the day.

The postings of others on social media may not represent the complete story of how healthy their relationship is, so it’s best not to use their lives as a benchmark for yours.

Don’t Date Someone Just for the Sake of it

Going out with someone who is not of a romantic interest to you is a bad idea, as you may well find yourself entangled in a relationship you don’t really want. It’s also not wise to mess with the feelings and expectations of others just so you can have a night out. I know someone who dated someone she wasn’t serious about, but ended up marrying him and then they divorced!

It’s also not healthy coming together with both of you knowing it’s all empty of value and commitment, as it will leave you feeling just that, empty!

Do Something You Love

You may be single today, but that is not always going to be your story. That’s if you desire to be in a relationship. So enjoy the day if you’re alone. Do something you love, and learn to love yourself. It’s a good way to maintain a healthy view of who you are with no need for someone to make you happy.

You can cook yourself your favourite meal, watch a favourite movie or go out with friends for the night.

Encourage Someone Whose Alone

You can even choose to call someone who you know will be alone and be kind to them. That altruistic act is bound to make you feel good. I hasten to add, be wise with who you call. You don’t want to call someone you know who’s aching for a petty party. These conversations have a way of taking you down and you don’t need that on Valentine’s Day!

Here’s a Valentine Poem called “What is Love?”.

Joanne Sojinu

Author, https://joanneswellofpearls.com/book/a-mothers-prayers/

collection of poems to come – From Tears To Bubbling Springs